"Real Time" host Bill Maher called out fellow Hollywood liberals for their previous vow to leave the country under President Trump but are "still here."
In his closing monologue on Friday, Maher bashed Americans who complain about living in the U.S., beginning with politicians like a progressive state representative candidate in New Hampshire who posted on social media saying "I need to get the f--- out of this country" and former President Trump who said he "could've been relaxing in… the south of France" instead of running for president.
"Again, I'm confused by this political message: Vote for me because I hate it here," Maher quipped. "Now, does America have big problems? Yes. I've often cited the ‘America sucks’ list. Things like being 54th in the world in infant mortality behind Cuba, 19th and literacy behind Russia, 72nd in female representation in government behind Iraq, a lot of work to do here. And is it possible for a country to lose itself so much that leaving it is justified? Yes, but we're not there yet. Not by a long shot. And we don't need quitters. We need people who will stay and fix it."
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"Maybe the problem isn't that America isn't worth defending. Maybe the problem is that lots of people today are entitled whiners who have no perspective and no idea how good they have it," Maher continued, sparking cheers from his audience.
The HBO host shamed the "59% of liberals" who said in a poll they considered leaving America for good, telling them "You want so badly for every immigrant to come to this country and experience the good life but somehow it's so terrible you want to leave?" He also bashed the conservative movement in Texas pushing for a secession, joking, "They have two bumper stickers in that state, ‘America: love it or leave it!’ and ‘We’re leaving it!'"
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He then listed "liberal celebrities" like Lena Dunham, Cher, Snoop Dogg, Bryan Cranston, Susan Sarandon, Al Sharpton, Whoopi Goldberg, Chelsea Handler and Barbra Streisand among others who "swear they'll go if a Republican is elected and no one ever does."
"Miley Cyrus once said 'I am moving if Trump is my president. I don't say things I don't mean.' Here she is looking miserable having to endure America at the Grammys last Sunday. I guess she flew back from Tajkisistan," Maher said. "In 2016, Eddie Griffin said, 'If Trump wins I'm moving to Africa' - apparently very slowly because in Trump's four years, he only got as far as Van Nuys. George Lopez once said that if Trump won, he 'won't have to worry about immigration. We'll all go back.' George Lopez, still here. And it doesn't look like the migrant traffic is going back."
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"The New Republic just ran a story about the vulnerable minorities who want to flee America, including the author- a gay man trapped in the dystopian homophobic hellscape that is New York City. I wonder if he knows that there are 66 countries where just being gay is a crime," Maher continued.
"Cute story in the news last month. Burundi's president called on his citizens to stone gay people and not in the good way. Wow. suddenly the 'Don't Say Gay' law doesn't sound all that bad. And Uganda, oh, they don't just give you a ticket for parking in the rear, you can get the death penalty for it! In China, they have the death penalty for almost 50 crimes and in 13 countries, atheism is punishable by death and 61 impose restrictions on women's clothing so bring a scarf."
Maher continued with his list of countries with lack of individual liberties: "According to Amnesty International, paramilitary groups kill the government's critics in Argentina, Brazil, Colombia, Venezuela and arbitrary detentions are widespread in Cuba, Ecuador, El Salvador, Nicaragua. If you're wondering how that's just like no cash bail, it's not. In Russia, just referring to the war in Ukraine as a war can get you 15 years in the fabulous prisons made famous by some of the world's most famous novels. You think America's evil because we didn't nominate Margot Robbie for an Oscar, just wait till you get thrown out the window of your very own dream house."
He also mentioned how thieves have their hands cut off in countries like Saudi Arabia, Nigeria and Sudan, joking "if you're coming from San Francisco, do your shoplifting at home" and how protesters are "shot" in many countries.
"It almost seems like the world is full of suffering, intolerance and oppression on a scale we can't imagine. But that can't be true because if it was, we'd be protesting it. It must only happen in Israel," Maher quipped.
The host concluded, "And for your exile, if you do wind up in some comparatively luxurious place like Canada or Japan or the UK, not that they want you, at best you'll be trading a bunch of stuff you hate about this country for a bunch of stuff you'll soon hate about your new home. It took me only four days in Amsterdam to learn that while I admire Amsterdam, I don't want to live there! The buildings are cramped and shaped like needles, the food is awful, the TV is in a different language, it's wet and cold, the people are polite but cold, and they do a bunch of weird s---, the explanation for, according to my friend, was ‘Just remember, they’re high.'"
